grief
Meaning of grief: It moves in waves rather than through tidy stages, and shows up in sleep, appetite and concentration as much as in mood.
Definition of grief
Grief is the response to a significant loss, most often the death of someone close, though it also follows a serious or life-limiting diagnosis, whether one's own or another person's. It affects emotion, thinking and the body at the same time, and its shape varies widely between individuals and across cultures. Anticipatory grief begins before the loss has actually occurred.
How does grief show itself?
| Where it shows | Common features |
|---|---|
| Emotion | Sadness, anger, guilt, relief, numbness, intense longing |
| Body | Broken sleep, changed appetite, exhaustion, chest tightness, aches |
| Thinking | Poor concentration, disbelief, preoccupation, brief sensations of hearing or seeing the person |
| Behavior | Withdrawal, restlessness, avoiding reminders or seeking them out |
Two of these surprise people most. Relief is common and frequently produces guilt, particularly after a long illness or a difficult relationship, and it says nothing about the strength of the attachment. Brief experiences of hearing a voice or glimpsing the person in a crowd are also widely reported by bereaved people and are not, on their own, a sign of illness.
Does it follow stages?
The familiar sequence of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance was drawn from work with people facing their own dying, not with the bereaved, and research since has not found that grief moves through a fixed order. What is observed instead is oscillation. Attention swings between confronting the loss and attending to the practical business of living, and the swings gradually lengthen and soften rather than resolving on a timetable. Anniversaries, familiar places and small unexpected reminders bring intensity back long after it seemed to have settled, which is ordinary rather than a setback.
When is it called prolonged grief disorder?
Most grief eases without any formal help, supported by family, friends and community. A minority remains severe and disabling. Prolonged grief disorder describes persistent, intense yearning or preoccupation with the person who died, together with marked difficulty functioning, continuing well beyond the period set out in diagnostic criteria and beyond what the person's own culture expects. The boundary is genuinely indistinct, and the distinguishing feature is impairment over time rather than intensity at any one moment. Support ranges from peer groups and grief counseling to structured grief therapy for those with the more persistent form.
Used in a sentence
The social worker met with the family to discuss support resources for their grief following the patient's death.
Good to know
Grief is distinguished from prolonged grief disorder mainly by duration and the degree to which it continues to interfere with daily functioning, though the boundary between an expected grief response and one warranting further evaluation is not always distinct.
Word origin
Where “grief” comes from
From Old French grief, meaning hardship or sorrow, from Latin gravis, meaning heavy or burdensome.